See My Beard -- Ain't It Weird?

 

I have no recollection of exactly when I made the decision, but it must’ve been around 8th or 9th grade when I decided that when I grew up, I was going to have facial hair. My commitment then was only to having a mustache. Over time, I decided I’d go further and have a beard as well. The primary driver behind it, as best as I can remember, was Vincent Price or maybe Snidely Whiplash.

It may seem strange to want a mustache based on movie villains, but that’s the way it was — C’mon man, I was in 8th grade. As time passed, I realized a lot of the men I admired for their creativity had mustaches, Edgar Allen Poe and Mark Twain, for example. As I got older, and time marched into the 70s, there were many more folks with mustaches that I admired, Burt Reynolds and Tom Selleck to name just two. All of this solidified my decision to be mustachioed.

So, by the end of high school, and thanks to the gift of facial hair from puberty, I grew a mustache. Ever since then I have had one, except for twice in my life: Air Force basic training and once in the 90s, for two weeks after a botched attempt at trimming. I also had a beard occasionally. During most of my college years I sported a full beard, but it wasn’t until after I was out of the Air Force and moving on to my next career that I grew fuller facial hair which started as a close-trimmed beard but then morphed into a goatee. At one point I tried a Van Dyke but the upkeep was killer. To paraphrase the words of George Carlin "See my beard, ain’t it weird—– don’t be skeered it’s only a beard — now that I’ve shared this affair of the hair—do you care?" 

Care or not, that’s not what this blog entry is about, anyway. It’s about my foray into beard care products. I know, I know—– my last entry about how to towel dry after shower — now this one about beard care. Where the hell is this guy at? Don’t worry, my dwelling on such matters will end with this entry—at least a few months.

While I am blessed with full facial hair, I’m cursed with sensitive skin. This means after my goatee gets to be a certain thickness, I get flaky skin under it. Beardruff. Also, when I grow my beard longer, it gets course and even after careful trimming, I’m left with flyaways that give me an unkempt appearance. I’ve tried shampooing, and using various head hair products on it without success. I even picked up a bottle of beard oil, but it just left stains on my shirt. Then I discovered a full range beard product. 

My research was more accidental than serious; I was talking to my barber (Hunter) about the issues I was having. He suggested I try Uppercut Beard Balm and let me try a sample. It kept my beard more controlled, and the scent wasn’t bad. The biggest take away was the realization there were products out there for what I was experiencing. I'd discovered a new world of stuff. 

Before I proceed further, a disclaimer: No review ever published on this blog is produced because I am paid or given payment in kind. If I find something good, I share that discovery here and you are free to do with that information whatever you choose with the knowledge the review was unbiased. Of course, your mileage may vary and you may or may not agree.

In today’s environment of algorithms and data mining, the simplest way to start research is to perform a simple Internet query for what you’re looking for. Within 24 hours, you’ll be deluged with pop-up ads, email, and ads on your social media timelines. That’s what happened to me, but in and amongst all the noise, I found one ad that caught my attention. It was from a company called Lived Bearded.

Among the things that drew my attention to it were the variety of scents available. I don’t know about you, but it bugs me that products are only available in a baseline scent that was decided upon either by a focus group or the owner’s girlfriend. I should want to smell like coconut/lime with patchouli accents --- really?

Live Bearded has a sample pack which let me try each of their baseline beard care products (shampoo, conditioner, oil, and butter) in each of the six scents they offer. It doesn’t get much better. It was $10 for the sample pack when I ordered; now it’s $20, but you get a $10 credit on your first order. Still very fair and it lets you try everything. I’ve seen other companies wanting twenty bucks to try your choice of two of their scents and you only get one product. I like that Live Bearded let me weed out what I did and didn’t like from their full selection.

Here are Live Bearded’s selections and each fragrance's elements:

Tombstone: Sweet Tobacco, Cedar

Executive: Leather, Vanilla, Cedar

Legend: Sandalwood, Vanilla

Canyon: Juniper, Cypress, Fir Needle

American: Cedar, Pine, Vetiver, Bergamot

1880: Bourbon, Bitters, Citrus

What I liked about these from the outset was that all of them seem to be reasonable smells and the names were not trying to be something they weren’t. At my age, do I need Midnight Nekit Body in the Mist with traces of cedar, rosemary, and a hint of Arctic glacier? To me, the scent of soaps and shampoos is a secondary consideration. What I’m most concerned about is the way it blends with what cologne I choose to wear it with or the scent of other products I use. I’m sure you have run into at least one person in your life who is using ten different products with ten different fragrances resulting in a something akin to Dumpster at Sunset. One scent not part of the set is unscented. There’s no real reason to get a sample of that. We all know what nothing smells like.

Okay, I’m not going into the science of each product. They do what the label says they do: The shampoo shampoos, the conditioner conditions, etc. I liked how each of them worked except for one which I will talk about later. Want the ingredients, etc., check out Live Bearded's website.

My method was simple, because I have a goatee and not a full mountain man beard. I was able to get two uses out of each sample. I tried each of them, using all four products of the same fragrance, and I even used a little scorecard that came with the sample pack to track scents and performance.

Shampoo: I was a little disappointed the first time I used the shampoo, because it didn’t lather up. The second time I wet my beard well before applying the shampoo and all was good. You don’t have to use a lot of shampoo in order for it to be effective, and once I was able to get it foamy, it cleaned very well.

Conditioner: Because you have to rinse the shampoo out first, your beard is fairly wet by the time you put the conditioner on. It lathers up nicely. It’s best not to allow it to sit on your beard for a bit before rinsing. The feel after rinsing it out is quite pleasant as your beard feels nice and soft.

In the shower, the scent of the Live Bearded surrounded me and most times was quite pleasant. No, I didn’t like all the fragrances, but that is why they produce several flavors.

Oil: After my shower, I would apply a small bit of the oil to my beard and rub it through. It felt good against my skin as I worked it all the way to the roots. I’m happy to report that after a month of use, I wasn’t finding any oil stains on the front of my shirts from using the oil. It was probably because it soaked in versus the oil being stain-free or maybe I was applying the correct amount versus too much. Regardless of why, I liked it didn’t ruin my shirts.

Butter: I just disliked this product. Never got satisfying results, regardless of how I applied it. I used as instructed. Tried using more. Tried using less. It just did not work for me. The butter made my beard feel stiff, as if I used Aquanet on it. Maybe this is something that only people with longer beards need and appreciate.

How did it all work together? I no longer have beardruff. While I still have flyaways, they are easy to smooth down and they stay down when I comb my beard after applying all the products. The coarseness of the hair is also gone. Now that it is properly conditioned, it feels nice. The sample pack from Live Bearded has proven that their products will solve my problems and have convinced me they are worthwhile.

My trial period led me to choose not one but two fragrances that I liked: Executive and Tombstone. They mesh well with my cologne and also my hair shampoo, etc. As for the other fragrances, there were none that I out right hated, they just didn’t suit me.

(Since I didn’t like the beard butter, I regressed to the beard balm I had on hand. Fortunately, the two fragrances I chose mesh well with the scent of the balm.)  

Finally, I appreciate the way Live Bearded products are available for order. I hate it when a company forces me to buy things I will not use or dislike in some sort of preassembled kit. Live Bearded seems to understand and lets you order the shampoo, conditioner, and oil separately. You aren’t forced to order all four products to get what you want.

Customer Support: Sometimes you need some help to make things right. Because of my error, one of my shipments from Live Bearded got mis-routed. A quick email to the company and Danielle fixed it within hours. There is nothing more you can expect because it simply does not get any better than that.

I heartily recommend this company. For 10 bucks I found products I need and fragrances that work for me. 

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