"On the Roads It Was a White-Line Nightmare" - Mad Max II

Ramadan and Eid are over and that boost of charity and goodwill has quickly faded away sort of like the Christmas spirit does after New Year's.  People have returned to work and have returned to Kuwait after their Eid celebrations elsewhere.  The roads that at one point were mostly deserted until early evening are packed with folks heading to and from work -- and the extra crowding coupled with the loss of good will has returned the highways in Kuwait to what is best described as Mad Max the Redux.

Mad Max in the simplest terms, is the story of people trying to get from one place to another to get the things they need regardless of what level of aggression that journey takes because they are more important than anyone else on their own journey.   Got it?  Perfect description of Highway 30 at 0630 or 1700 on work day. It is beyond your normal rush hours when you consider two things: 

1.  The max speed anywhere in Kuwait is 120 KmH (72MPH) and there are speed cameras no more than about 5 Km apart on any given road.  By the way, those speed cameras don't just check your speed,  they read your license plate and then check the speed you were going from the time you passed by the last camera -- in other words you cannot cheat by speeding in between the cameras.  Next, they deport people for speeding -- at the moment are strictly enforcing all traffic laws with the ultimate penalty for a non-citizen being deportation. This results in a group of people driving with great caution but still not using turn signals or normal right of ways.

2.  Kuwait probably has the greatest number of cars capable of doing over 150MPH, per capita, in the world.  Add to that the financial ability to not worry about the cost of speeding tickets and the desire to show off your car's capabilities for speed and handling

Now, put all those folks on the road together.

I swear I saw this guy in a yellow Corvette

Yeah. 

The driving public is: half being overly cautious, a quarter being overly aggressive and maniacal, and the rest of us trying to get to work in one piece.

It is not unusual to see a Lamborghini weaving through traffic at high speed or to have a car come up behind you going twice your speed flashing his headlights for you to move over.  But you also get a souped up Impala who rides your butt while you are in the left lane, flashing his lights for you to move over when the middle lane is full -- how exactly are you supposed to do that?  Or worse, they pass you on the left, in the emergency lane covering you in rocks and gravel as they go by.  

Impala payback

You would think once they go by you, all would be OK -- not so.  Some of more aggressive drivers feel the need to flex a bit -- so they pass and then slow down to below the speed limit to prompt you into a game of cat and mouse.  I have seen cars push into two lanes to prevent anyone from being able to get around them.  I also saw one guy pass another and then throw a water bottle out the window at the car they just passed.  

Except for being rear-ended once, I have managed to drive here for over 1 year and half without a major accident -- I hope I can keep that up until I am out of here -- or maybe I can get me one of these...

 Pix of the Week

That must be some pool if that is all that they describe

Beavis & Butthead go Kuwaiti.  Al Cornholio?

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100 Days Versus the Kuwait Bucket List

Today is the day that I can say I only have 100 days left on this tour in Kuwait (notice how I left an out there? Life is nothing if not change).  In those 100 days I have a lot of work to do on the job, but I also I have many personal goals that I want to accomplish while I am here.

The items listed below represent what is left of my Kuwait Bucket List – a sort of To Do list of experiences I want to have prior to leaving Kuwait.  Some I can figure out on my own, others will require some help or facilitation to make happen.    I realize that for the ones that I need help on, it will require a person to go out of their way to assist and all I can offer in return is to be an attentive and appreciative attendee and write the experience on my blog.    As there is no material gain for either side, the ultimate benefit will be  a greater understanding  between cultures that will reach far beyond the folks directly involved – that is a good thing as it makes the world a better place in the long run.

If you want to help or have suggestions on how I can best complete my list,  please send me an Email.

Here is the list in no particular order:

*  Tour the oil refinery at Shuaiba.  I would like to be able to take pictures, but I am more interested in learning how all of that stuff works.  I have been driving by it twice daily for the last 18 months and I am curious.

*  Attend a traditional Diwaniya (or Dewaniya).  This is supposed to be a big part of a Kuwaiti man’s social life.  Willing to wear a dishadasha if needed.

*  Tour the Kuwait Towers.  They have been closed for renovation since I arrived here in March 2012,  I hope they will open before I leave.

*  See the inside of the Holy Family Cathedral in Kuwait City and St. Paul’s Anglican Church in Ahmadi.  

*  Tour the Kuwait Grand Mosque.  Shortly after I arrived the mosque closed due to some cracks in the structure.  I hear it is open now, just have to set aside some time to go see it.

*  Go to the Friday Market.  Waiting to go with a friend who speaks Arabic in case some bargaining is needed.

*  Take a ride on a Dhow.  It is the traditional watercraft of Arabia.

*  See the oil fields that were set ablaze by the Iraqis at the end of Desert Storm.  The fires were extinguished and years have passed – I think it would be interesting to see how the environment has recovered from the disaster.

*  See the inside of a real Kuwaiti home.  I live in a Kuwaiti house,  but it is an American home – I would be glad to swap tours.

I will write about each of these experiences as they occur, so stay tuned.

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A Story of Two Pails

During my first week in Kuwait, I was talking with someone who had been here for over a decade.  He asked when I was scheduled to leave, which is as common a question here as being asked what your major is on a college campus, I told him I was on a one year tour and he nodded then said,

“The length of a tour here is gauged by the pail method.  When you arrive you get two empty pails, one is for the cash you will make and the other is for the bullshit you put up while you are here.  When either of the pails gets full, it is time to leave; you can’t really gauge that by a calendar.”

I have thought about those words from time to time during the 17 months I have been here.  I am not a newbie to the expat way of life having spent over half of my life outside of the United States.  I am used to the hardships and glitches that this way of life brings and most of my time was pre-internet so it was even more isolated and logistically difficult.

In the last few weeks the bullshit pail has started filling up very fast.  We all deal with frustrations in life when hit by rules or procedures that make no sense or that only seem to provide justification for the existence of those in charge of rule enforcement.  When goals become cloudy a bureaucracy will run amok and it will consume all within its reach as it feeds and grows.  Eventually it will devour itself.

It is not those things that hit you all at once and then fade away. It is those things that hit you and then lie under the skin like a sliver or bee's stinger – those are the things that rip the scab off just as it starts to heal. It is the constant reminder -- it is the constant pain and irritation.

In the end no matter what good you think you are doing matters you need to escape the constant frustration and return to normalcy.  At least the timing is good, as I only have a little over 100 days left on my tour and I was not really considering extending anyway.  

I will say that none of frustrations I am talking about have anything to do with Kuwait or its people.  

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The Sounds of the Neighborhood

My place in Kuwait sits equidistant between 3 different mosques.  I have no idea if the mosques are Sunni or Shia or if they even have names but as a result of where my place sits, I have a front row seat for the daily calls to prayer.  This is not a bad thing necessarily, but it has led me to notice the calls more than I had in my previous location. 

The calls to prayer are done 5 times a day based a solar clock and even though all mosques have minaret’s , where in days of yore the prayer caller would do his job, most calling is done using a PA system and a microphone.  In all my time here, I have never seen a prayer caller doing the call but I am assuming he is somewhere inside the mosque.

During my first week in Kuwait, I took notice of calls and tried to listen to the words – I was listening for words I might recognize and I did find a few.  To me it sounds like singing, but my Muslim friend Saad vehemently disagrees and insists it is not singing.  Saad also told me that there is a college in Jordan where all the prayer callers go to get trained; it is the only one in the world.  At this point, I have heard a few that sounded like they did not get out of prayer caller kindergarten.

I recall one night at my old apartment when the guy doing the call started to cough in the middle of it and proceeded to cough into the microphone for 3 or 4 minutes with the sound echoing off the surrounding buildings.  Get that man a Riccola.  A day or so later there was a new voice doing the calls and never heard the other guy’s voice again.  Guess getting a cold can be a career ender for a prayer caller.

There are times when the three mosques that I live by now start their calls just a few seconds off from each other or on a slightly different starting note.  The only way to describe it is cacophony.  In Abu Dhabi they have this beat because, according to the guide who did the Grand Mosque tour, only one prayer caller does the deed and it is broadcast to all the mosques in the country at exactly the same time.  It may be uniform, but I think it loses some of the unique flavor of the call too.

Each of the prayer callers for the mosques around me is a little different.  The callers use different emphasis and the pauses, rises and falls – they are all special in their own right.  As it is Ramadan, one of the mosques has a caller performing different types of calls at around 2030 at night – these are not the standard call to prayer but something else that sounds very peaceful and musically intricate.  I enjoy listening to these while I walk Falkor around the neighborhood before we turn in for the night.

Above all, the purpose for these calls are is to let the people know it is time to pray – sort of like a shared spiritual alarm clock.  The words for all the normal calls are the same, except the early morning call that starts with a phrase that I am told means “It is better to pray than sleep” so they are not meant to be a distraction but just a ritualistic part of the day.  I personally think that stopping what you are doing during the day to have a conversation the God is a good thing – it keeps the day and your labors in perspective.

NOTE:  Yeah, there probably is an Arab name for the prayer caller, but I have no idea what it is.  This is ain’t Wikipedia ya know.

Pix of the Week



Disturbingly accurate. Call the Lollipop Guild!







I know, I know. My 80's is hanging out.



Always be yourself,  but if you can be Batman -- Be Batman



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Heh. Heh. Heh. fire - Fire - FIRE

When I was a kid, I saw the movie Hellfighters starring John Wayne.  It was a film loosely based on the life of Red Adair and his team of oil well firefighters.  I was a kid and any movie with fire and explosives was worth a look.  Now, I find myself in Kuwait, where over 700 oil well fires were put out in a 7 month period by thousands oil well firefighters.  That is not without its own allure.

I never saw the movie Fires of Kuwait until yesterday.  It is an interesting and short documentary on how they put out the 700 oil well fires that were started on the orders of  Saddam Hussein as the Iraqi troops retreated in defeat after their invasion of Kuwait.  These guys walked into the job thinking it would take 10 years to get all the fires out.  

My first trip to Kuwait was after the fires had been put out, but I will tell you the country smelled like burning oil to me every time I went there for the next 3 years.  So,  click on the link and give the movie a look.

By the way,  they not only use explosives,  they also use two jet engines mounted on an old Soviet T34 tank.  

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Strolling Through a Thick Fog In Search of Seat 11C

Once again I found myself traveling to Bahrain on business. I have come to the realization that when I am in the Middle East during Ramadan for at least some part of it I have been in Bahrain. There's nothing special that goes on in Bahrain during Ramadan that is different than any other place in the Arab world but for some reason I always wind up on that island during that particular month if I happen to be in the area. Such is life.

The trip was short and basically uneventful, my host took me to section of town that I had not been to before. If the temperatures (112°) and humidity (54%) were lower, I would've sworn that I was in Europe. This building in particular, used to style that I have seen in Italy. They cover a very plain solid wall with paintings to make it look like there are windows in the building. We ate at the La Cucina one evening, to me the name was Mexican sounding but it turned out to be a very excellent Italian restaurant. When I first walked down the alley to get to the restaurant, I could've sworn that the tower on the left was meant to be a homage . To the famous tower in Pisa – – when in fact, it is a mosque.

In keeping with the Internet trend of taking pictures of your food I give you a picture of the Pepper Steak that I had at Coco's. It was excellent.

Because of the serious humidity and heat in Bahrain when I boarded the plane to leave, I encountered a thick fog inside the plane. The airline was trying desperately to keep the plane cool and comfortable and as a result this fight over environmental control caused thick condensation to float in the air throughout the aircraft. It was kind of spooky.  

The taxis from the airport, are only driven by Kuwaitis. So, when I come back I can usually look forward to a brief conversation with a native. This time was no different as he quickly got me from the airport to my home. The fares are all predetermined based on the destination and are displayed on the window in both English and Arabic. As I prepared to exit the cab, the driver quoted a fare that was twice what I knew the rate to be. When I pointed to the rate chart that was clearly displayed he acted like he had forgotten that such rates existed and apologized for his mistake. I handed him the exact fare, choosing not to tip because you try to rip me off. That was the first time in all my dealings with Kuwaitis that I have ever had one try to do something under the table like that.

Finally, I got another haircut (where does the year go?) and opted for something a little more Tony Starkish on the goatee.  Not sure how long it will last because it requires a lot of work to keep it trimmed properly, easy for him since he has Pepper and Jarvis to lend a hand.

Pix of the Week

This sign caught my eye. They display the picture of a Duck, for a place that has Cat and Coot (a cranelike bird) in the name, which is selling shwarmas, a type of Middle Eastern sandwich that is usually made of chicken or lamb.   I'm confused. 

Notice that the man pictured in the sign is not wearing a gutra (Arabic head dress), that is because the sign is specifically aimed at Indians and Pakistanis who live and spit in the area.  

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Part III: Die Fleidermaus Fliegen Noch Einmal

...and now, the conclusion...

Vipitino & Bolzano Italy

This tour to the South Tyrol region of Northern Italy was something new. The first stop was Vipitino. 

Within the town, we were taken to a wine and leather goods shoppe to do some shopping.  Was a very nice place and we got to sample a few different kinds of wine and liqueurs. The worst part was that because I was going back to Kuwait it would do no good for me to do any shopping for things to take back with me. After we were done in that store we wandered the narrow alleyways through the town looking at the various small shops along the way. While we were there we also visited the church which had a beautiful display of Gothic artwork on its walls. Most of them dealt with the subject of the wages of sin, John Milton would’ve been impressed.

Walther Square in Bolzano

What they think Ötzi looked like

The next stop was Bolzano. It was a beautiful town and we had a great lunch there before going to museum to visit Ötzi.  At 3500 years, Ötzi is the oldest wet mummy ever found; he was discovered by some hikers when some flooding melted a section of a glacier up in the mountains. As a result, Ötzi ended up with his own museum and a study of everything he was carrying and the body left behind. Their best guess is that he was some sort of shaman since he was carrying those types of objects. He was murdered, being struck from behind by an arrow that caused him to bleed fatally. I felt no danger form that because I’m fairly sure whoever did it is no longer hanging around.

The cherries were awesome!

After a visit to visit to the museum, and watching a few street performers, we went back to Walther Square and enjoyed the afternoon sun with a cup of coffee and some gelato.  The square is named for Walther von der Vogelweide, a German minstrel.

The name of the town might seem familiar to you if you are a student of World War II, as you might’ve heard about it in association with Odessa or Nazi war criminal Michael Seifert who was a guard at the concentration camp there.  Seifert was located, arrested and tried in 2000.  During WWII the town was the site of a Nazi transit point for political and other prisoners. Just after the war, it was used as a transit point for Nazi officers who were attempting to escape to South America.  While we were there I saw nothing to acknowledge any of these events.

Interesting door knobs (look close)

Salzbergwerk

The tour of the Salzbergwerk is something we had done before while we were stationed in Germany.  I am not sure of anywhere else in the world where you can go on a tour of an active mine.  It is located near Berchtesgaden, so we had all a rather lengthy drive in the pouring rain through the mountains to get to there from Garmisch-Partenkirchen.

First they dress you up an appropriate clothing, then you board an actual mine train and head deep into the mountain. On our prior trip we wore what were once actual miner’s clothing but these have been replaced with easy on/off coveralls.  While walking through the mine, they tell you all about how salt is extracted from the huge deposits that exist under the mountain. You get to go down huge wooden slides that were once used to transport the salt rock within the mine and you take a ferry across a huge underground salt lake. It is all very interesting and educational.  At the end of the tour, they give you a sample of the soul to take home with you as a memory of the day.

I wish we had been able to go to the Eagles Nest again, but apparently they no longer conduct open tours there as it is been converted into a restaurant. Bummer.

Kletterwald Where Are You?

Checking out the map

Sometimes, you never find that one place that you are looking for while on vacation. In the states it might be Bob's Reptile World and Snake Emporium, in Garmisch for us it was Kletterwald.  From the day we arrived, we heard about a rope and zipline course going through the woods in the Partenkirchen section of town.  We would even see the occasional sign for Ketterwald as we went about town but never really saw the course itself. 

Nope.  Not there,

On our final day there, the sun was shining and we decided to find the course and spend a few hours exploring it. We followed every sign that we could find, including the very last one we saw which pointed us up into the mountains. We spent hours exploring the various roads and never getting anywhere. Before you ask, yes we checked the map. It was hopeless. But now we have a perfectly valid reason to visit again.

In the end we gave up and played a round of mini-golf -- something else I'd never done before in Germany.  

The 10 days we spent in Germany were a blast. It was so great to get out of Kuwait for a while and to escape to someplace so beautiful and welcoming.

Now I am back at work again with only one more break in my tour look forward to, in September I go back to the US for a few weeks. When I return from that one, I’ll be counting down the days until I pop smoke and GMX.

Some Final Pix

The Alpspitze

Gotta mow the yard and house

Wonderful

Gravity must be less in Bavaria

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